Raja and Ranjani's Net Meeting
My suggestion to all you hopeful marriage minded individuals is that keep trying; the net is a wonderful source for people all over the world to meet.
By Ranjani
H i there. This is Ranjani here. I am about to tell you the story of how a simple net meeting has changed my life forever. The entire story is true with no added masalas.
I am a girl from Singapore. Raja is a guy from Bangalore currently working in the United States. It seemed almost impossible that we would meet. However thanks to technology we did and right now we are happily married. It all happened one evening when nothing seemed to be working out for me on the marriage front. I come from an orthodox Tamil Brahmin Family. My parents were insisting that I get married to a brahmin and like all other parents they were on the lookout for a suitable groom for me. However whomever they put forward to me just did not seem right and did not make me tick. My parents attributed it to me being very stubborn. However I was firm that unless I felt the extra thing for my special guy, I would not say yes. There were not many suitable Tamil Brahmin grooms from Singapore due to the small population and I only went back to India on holidays. So there really did not seem a chance that I would meet someone off the streets, fall in love and get married. And further coming from Singapore, where this arranged marriage concept was totally alien amongst my Chinese counterparts, I started thinking of better ways for me to meet my Mr. Right.
One of my close friends mentioned the Internet. She said that it would be a great medium for me to interact with potential partners from all over the world. I decided to go for it and drafted my ad. I had clearly stated in my ad that due to parental pressures, I would only like to hear from Tamil Brahmins. I never knew that the ad was going to change my life forever. I created a new hotmail account for myself and was surprised at the overwhelming response I received. I replied to some, I eliminated some. Some of them whom I felt slightly comfortable with, I gave my mobile number. I did not tell my parents about all this lest I raised their hopes. Till I was completely sure that for starters I liked the person, I did not want to say anything.
One fine morning, on 5th October, I saw his mail. It was really short. Compared to the many lengthy replies I had received to my equally lengthy ad, his short mail stood out. I was initially put off as I thought that if he cannot take the time and trouble to send me a detailed mail about himself then its not worth my time to reply. But not wanting to be rude, I sent him a pretty short message simply acknowledging his mail. He then replied a much longer mail, and that was how the initial correspondence started. We hit it off pretty well and after exchanging 3 or 4 mails, he asked for my number. I gave him my mobile number. Until that time he did not even know my name as I hadn't revealed it due to the dangers of meeting someone over the net. He called me one morning while I was at work. Since I was away from my desk, he left me a voice message hence found out my name. Our contributions to our respective phone providers started then. We spoke for the next 2 weeks for close to at least 7 hrs per call. Needless to say this burnt a very big hole in my dad's wallet as the bills touched 4 figures :-). Actually by the 1st phone call, I kind of figured that this was going to lead to something special. We were both dead sure by the end of the 2nd week and decided to tell our parents. In fact by then, only I had seen his photographs. He had no clue how I looked like as I had kept procrastinating in the sending of my pictures. He was pretty firm in his mindset that he only wanted to marry someone he felt comfortable with. I was really touched that he had decided to marry me without even seeing my picture. I guess the feeling would have been mutual if I had not seen his pictures by then. We had so many things to talk about and I found myself confiding things to him that I never thought I would. He made me laugh and made me feel really secure. I knew deep down that I had finally found my soulmate and hence was certainly floating in air. The time difference never bothered us. We always found time for each other. He finally saw my photograph almost a month later.
Now was the hard part. How was I going to broach this topic with my parents? The fact that he was Tamil Brahmin gave me the confidence that my parents would never object. So I put this forward to them. Their first reaction was of course one of surprise. They were like how can you decide to marry someone you hardly know. They were pretty concerned for obvious reasons. That very same day, both the dads spoke. Family histories were exchanged and my parents were satisfied with all that. I put my foot down when the issue of horoscope arose. I told them that they had matched horoscopes for previous alliances but when the time came for me to meet the guy, he turned out to be so wrong. Now that I have finally found someone whom I can relate to, I did not want some horoscope to decide my fate. Reluctantly they agreed to this. Ionically my dad had a conference in London that week. So he decided to fly in to Dallas to meet Raja. He just flew in on a Saturday and left on Sunday. He was pretty satisfied and gave me the thumbs up sign. Raja and I decided to get married without any meeting as we did not think it was necessary and simply followed our hearts.
Things moved very quickly after that and before I knew it the 4 parents had decided to hold an engagement. The best part of it all was neither Raja nor I were aware that we were about to be engaged. I was in Indonesia on work and he was in the final stages of completing his last project. I got a call from him on the morning of our engagement telling me that we were about to be engaged that evening. I was like what. But it happened and we were betrothed in India with 400 odd people witnessing the occasion. They had arranged for a videographer and a photographer. Lots of food. It was a big event. Only thing the bride and the groom were not present for the occasion :-)
Date for the wedding was fixed for the 7th of February. By sheer coincidence, both our birthdays fall on the 7th (His on the 7th of Oct and mine on the 7th of Sept). So we were really happy that our wedding date was also scheduled on a 7th and we were anxious to hold the wedding on the planned date. Preparations thus began in a big manner. I was a total nervous wreck. Everyone thought we were both crazy to be doing this. Questions were thrown at us ...questions such as what if you guys are not attracted to each other, what if he turns out to be totally different, what if he was just pulling your leg all along..... Obviously these were just making us more nervous. But we were sure of our feelings for each other and that was precisely what pulled us along. The wedding was to take place at Chennai with a reception at Singapore and Bangalore. As we got closer to the wedding date, we found one last unexpected hurdle we had to cross. This was a problem with the H1B visa. Raja had sent his passport for his visa extension to the US Consultate at Washington DC sometime in October and he was pretty sure that he would get it back by December, as according to the process time it was stated as 6 weeks. But then due to some unforseen delays, he did not get it as expected and got everyone really nervous. I had sent in a faxed plea to the Consulate from Singapore to return his passport. Raja too wrote in telling them of the situation. And on Pongal morning (14th Jan) he finally got his passport with his extension stamped. Up till then, we had decided to hold off the printing of the wedding invitations. And we were even prepared to lose our deposit with the wedding hall. It was too much of a risk to take. Since he got his passport on the 14th, we had about 3 weeks till the 7th. So we decided to go ahead with the wedding as planned. It was really chaotic after that, as there was so much to be done. My parents had to confirm the hall for the reception at Singapore. And we had to send out more than 1,000 cards to friends and relatives. In India it was the same with my in-laws. Thank god we had compiled most of the addresses while waiting for his passport although in the heat of the moment, invariably, some names got missed out. We somehow got through all that and prepared for our departure to India.
Both of us booked our tickets. I went to India a week earlier as I had to get all my saree purchases done. Raja arrived 2 days before the wedding. I went to the airport along with a whole host of relatives all eager to meet him. I was extremely nervous and my stomach was a ball of nerves. Against all the odds, we had pushed on and this was finally THE moment. As he walked out of the terminal, his mother and sister immediately pointed him out. My parents went forward to greet him first. I could see him looking out for me. Suddenly shy, I went forward with my head down. He just hugged me tight to ease us both of all tensions. And when I lifted my head I realised that I was right all along. He was the most beautiful man I had ever met and something told me that the best thing in my life was about to happen.
That was some time ago. Now here I am in the US, with my husband happily married. The two families are very united. Our parents speak to each other regularly. The distance between Singapore and Bangalore does not affect them. I am really attached to my in-laws and he to my parents. I always pray in my heart that this should last forever. Whenever my single friends ask me how is married life, I tell them this. Marriage is a nightmare if you marry the wrong person. Its absolute bliss if it turns out otherwise. If your heart tells you to go for it, then you should trust your instincts and follow it. In my case this was 100% true. Now that I have married the right person, I could not have asked for anything better in my life. Both of us are eternally grateful for all the various matrimonial websites that have sprung up on the net. If not for that who knows what either of us might be doing today....... I met Raja on the 5th of October, we got engaged on the 22nd of December and on the 7th of Feb we finally tied the knot. Everything happened in 4 months. My suggestion to all you hopeful marriage minded individuals is that keep trying. The net is a wonderful source for people all over the world to meet. Use it to your advantage and I am sure the fruits will be reaped. Who knows it may be one of you writing this article all over again..........
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